One of the first things to freak out my most extroverted friends about this crisis was the prohibition against hugs and handshakes. As human beings, we are hard wired for touch. I don’t know how true this is, but it is commonly said that we all need 8 hugs a day for a good immune system. In several countries I’ve traveled, a kiss or two on the cheek is a standard greeting, and once you get used to it (it feels a little uncomfortable for Americans at first), even handshakes feel a little cold.
Touch is one of the five love languages, the others being words, acts of service, quality time, and gifts. The remaining four are easier to practice right now than touch, giving great opportunities to express love, but what if your love language is touch? Obviously, if you live with others, you have people you can hug. You may have to be more deliberate about that than usual. If you have pets (other than fish or reptiles), you can express and enjoy affection from those adorable little furballs. But what do you do if you live alone? (Or if no one else in your house likes being touched?) While there is no substitute for the human touch, there is value in intentionally engaging the tactile senses. It may seem juvenile, but holding a pillow or a stuffed animal close can be comforting, even for adults. On the rare occasion that my husband is gone and I’m home (normally it’s the other way around), I hold his pillow. It’s not the same, but it’s better than nothing. As a tactile person, I find it valuable to seek out textures in fabric that I find appealing. Soft, velvety, fabrics are fun in a different way than silky ones, which have a different kind of appeal than well-worn cotton. If you’ve never felt your way through your wardrobe, you might be surprised by what you discover in that exercise. Shut your eyes and run your hands across the fabric: is it smooth? Scratchy? Stretchy? Taking the time to sense all of that can be delightful, and might change the way you dress. The other thing I have always found helpful is working with yarn. Not everyone knows how to knit or crochet, but there is pleasure in letting good yarn run through your fingers. Transforming a ball of yarn into something else has a rhythm to it that is almost meditative once you get the hang of it. More than a few times I’ve coped with low-touch situations by crocheting them away. This might sound weird, but outside, I love touching the plants. This may be risky if the only outdoors you have access to are public parks, but if you can find something less traffic-y, you might enjoy experiencing nature through your fingertips. I love the feel of grass, the roughness of bark, and the softness of flowers. Cooking from scratch can be very satisfactory from a tactile point of view. There is joy in good knife work, in the meditative measuring of ingredients, and in the tending of a sauté pan. I’m not as good of a cook as these articles make me sound; I just enjoy doing it. I love all the textures involved. For dietary reasons, I don’t do it as often as I used to, but making cupcakes is a great way keep one’s hands busy while enjoying wonderful smells. In short, go out of your way this week to experience the world from a more tactile point of view. When you shower, feel the water hit your skin and breathe in the moist air. When you eat, feel the texture instead of just wolfing it down. Feel the keys under your fingers as you type for work, and enjoy all the different types of cloth you come into contact every day. My tactile hobbies aren’t for everyone; experiment and find your own thing. LEGOs? Clay? Sorting jelly beans by color? (Yes, I know someone who actually does that; you know who you are.) Find something that works for you. It could help you weather this thing for however long it lasts.
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AuthorJillian Lutes is the youth pastor at West Covina Hills Seventh-day Adventist Church. Archives
May 2020
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