There’s a lot going on in our world right now. Every three or four days, it seems, something new and dramatic happens on the news before you’re even done processing the last dramatic event. Meanwhile, life goes on (as we say here repeatedly), which means that all of the other things in your life with the power to overwhelm you go on too. I would list some of those other things, but that would run the risk of overwhelming both you, dear reader, and myself further than we already are.
So how do you reset? We’ve talked about the need to unplug from time to time, but that’s not always possible. There are times where you actually need to be “on,” but your mind and body aren’t cooperating because of the sheer amount of, well, everything they’re processing. In this state, you will naturally gravitate towards activities that have helped you feel good in the past--which will be healthy or unhealthy depending on what they are--or you will compulsively and indiscriminately throw yourself into the fray, with impaired judgement against being able to do anything well. In other words, a modern-life version of the fight or flight response. Instead, I would recommend a two-step process. First, calm your brain down. Second, cut away any stimulus from the field that you don’t actually have to deal with right this instant. Let’s unpack these: When you get overwhelmed, your brain stops making decisions from a rational place. Literally. Your prefrontal cortex, which handles such subtleties as logic and delayed gratification, ceases to function and more primal, animalistic parts of your brain take over. Think for a moment about who you’d rather have captaining your life: a calm, rational adult or a terrified, cornered dog? This is why it’s your first priority to calm your brain down so that rationality can return. Fortunately, there are many, many great ways of going about this. One of the easiest and best is intentional deep breathing. Focusing on your breathing gets more oxygen to your brain, relaxes your muscles, and gives you something to think about other than the sixty million things that were overwhelming you. Best of all, it’s portable--this is something you can do while driving, while sitting in a meeting, and even while dealing with legitimate life-and-death situations. (Police officers are taught tactical breathing for such situations.) Along a similar vein, drinking water tends to help your body replenish whatever extra it’s losing from the stress. If you’re really, really overwhelmed, there’s another good use for water: take a hot bath or shower. It will relax your muscles, which will give your brain a cue to stop freaking out. Because of the hormones your brain throws at you when it’s overwhelmed, it can be really helpful to hug a loved one--even a pet will do. That action releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone that has the great side effect of fighting the stress hormones. The best thing of all, of course, is if you can get yourself to laugh. The act of laughter (unironic laughter) automatically shifts your brain back into a more rational gear. Now that the brain is calmed down, the second part of this process (that can only be completed after the first) is to get rid of any stimulus you don’t need to actively deal with right now. You might be overwhelmed with good reason--there are a lot of extra stressful things going on these days which can all add up.. In all cases, some things are simply more important than others. While it’s good to be a well-informed citizen, it may be wise to stop consuming the news for a while when you’re severely overwhelmed. Focus on what you can--and should--control, like parts of your work life or home life. If you are gently pulling yourself out of a state of severe overwhelm, you may have to temporarily ignore a few things that are usually important to you. For example, every job has things that need to be acted on right away and things that can be pushed to later. Some jobs even have things that can be eliminated in perfectly good conscience. Briefly putting your pet project on hold for a day or two to collect yourself and focus on your core tasks may be quite vital. There may even be one or two things you do out of social pressure, but need to drop. When it comes to your family, it can be incredibly healing to give yourself permission to focus on them and to let them know that you need help. While it would be wrong to permanently freeload off of everyone else’s efforts, there are seasons in which it is truly necessary to carry each other. Communicate with your housemates about what you need--quiet, help with meals, space, physical affection, a joke to make you laugh, room to exercise--because they don’t live in your head. Passive-aggressively expecting them to guess will only lead to hurt feelings on both sides. This is something you may do inadvertently, but to avoid accidentally coming off as passive-aggressive be careful that you clearly verbalize your needs. Depending on how overwhelmed you are, this will either help you limp to your next vacation where you can recharge more thoroughly or help you regain enough energy to attack your various challenges from a stronger place. Either way, this is a time not to add, but to subtract. This is a time to focus thoughtfully on the things that matter most, keeping in mind that this will not last forever. Deal with yourself gently, but not too indulgently. Zeroing in on your physical well-being and only the most crucial tasks will help you far more than going on a sugar binge or falling down the social media hole. To give you the wisdom to sort through this, prayer will be one of your most important tools: God alone has the wisdom necessary to cut through the clutter and focus on the important. Meanwhile, life goes on.
1 Comment
Betty Smith
10/6/2020 09:43:13 pm
Very good advice. Good job. Just what I needed tonight.
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AuthorJillian Lutes is the youth pastor at West Covina Hills Seventh-day Adventist Church. Archives
May 2020
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